Country Lane by flgr
“And even if the whole world has forgotten, the song remembers when.” ~Trisha Yearwood.
The other day, I was tripping through the light fantastic, looking at Youtube videos, when I came across this lovely song by Trisha Yearwood. It brought up some good memories from college and high school, which is fun, because that’s what the song itself is about: The power of a song to bring up memories. Certain songs have the ability to transport us back in time and bring up memories that even we might have forgotten about.
Many of these memories are happy ones, such as Garth Brooks’ Friends In Low Places, which always takes me back to my senior year in high school, when that was our class song.
What? It was a small town in the middle of Nowhere, Alabama! What did you *think* our class song would be!?!? 
Senior year was a good year. We spent a lot of time reminiscing, because most of us had been in school together since preschool, and we had a lot of shared memories at that point. Things we did as kids together. Getting in schoolyard fights. Birthday parties. Our class field trip to ride the Chattanooga Choo-Choo. Our school play in sixth grade. Watching the Making of Michael Jackson’s Thriller video 8 gazillion times in elementary school. Lots and lots of shared memories.
Not all of those memories were good ones. The year before, we had lost two classmates in an accident, and two songs were forever burned into my mind and associated with them. Jeff’s favorite song was Skid Row’s I Remember You, and now every time I hear that song, I think about him. His easy smile, his supernatural ability to find trouble…that was Jeff. And even though we didn’t really like each other, I missed him when he was gone. He was likeable, and friendly, even if you didn’t really want to like him or be friends with him.
Robin died that night, too. But unlike my somewhat ambivalent feelings towards Jeff, I loved Robin like a brother. Robin and I played baseball together. He lived down the street from my grandmother, and so we spent many afternoons playing together, and getting in trouble together. My own parents never “switched” me, but Robin’s mother sure has. More than a few times. We rode bicycles, we played backyard football, we stole candy out of the store together. We grew up together. Even today, I sometimes feel closer to Robin’s family than I do my own.
But when he died…so many bad memories of that time. We argued right before he died. My last words to him were a heated exchange. His favorite song, Stairway to Heaven, and how much I hated it. Something so stupid, so trivial…and how I swore that I would never let that happen again. How many times have I broken that promise since then…
Those days and weeks after the accident were a whirlwind of emotion to me. Flashes of tears and hugs, being strong for those who couldn’t be strong on their own, being tender and compassionate to people who were unaccustomed to me being either tender or compassionate (God, I was so different then!), The dream I had where Robin came to me and told me to take care of his sisters, and how I did that, and how I still do that, even though they are grown and married and have kids of their own now. Lots and lots of wheels were set into motion that night, and some of them still haven’t stopped rolling. Perhaps they never will.
Because, even if the whole world has forgotten, the song remembers when.
I had many more examples I wanted to share in this post, and honestly, I didn’t intend this to be so much about Jeff and Robin…I meant for them just to be another anecdote in a long list of songs that always bring up memories, some pleasant, some sad. But that plan just doesn’t feel right anymore. 19 years later, I still miss those guys.
Love Always,
Jay
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I’m sorry about your friends, Jay. Strange thing about losing a loved one is, no matter how much time passes, it always seems like it was just yesterday. And when we picture them, we see them exactly as they were back then, which takes us back to those days.
Music has such power over our memories. I can literally hear a song from any phase of my past and instantly remember what I was doing when I used to listen to it. I can almost feel myself there… crystal clear. I guess this can be a double edged sword. There are some memories I’d rather erase.
Thanks for sharing this, Jay!
Lisis | Quest For Balance´s last blog ..Adventure: Taking a Giant Leap of Faith
This is a very nice tribute, Jay. People come and go in our lives and the lessons we learn from them sometimes continue on long after they are gone. Thank you for putting this out here.
Jill´s last blog ..This is me
What a great post, Jay! Music is so important to me and I could totally relate to how a song can bring you back to a specific point in your life (both good and bad). I love the idea of the song remembering when. I’ve never heard the song but now I have to go listen to it!
Positively Present´s last blog ..happiness doesn’t just happen
@Lisis – Yes, that’s it exactly…the music can make you feel like you’re right back at the memory. It’s like a time machine, almost. And I know what you mean about memories you’d much rather erase. I have a few of those myself…
@Jill – I’m glad you enjoyed it. Learning the lessons from people that come and go in my life has become something of a theme for this blog, or so it seems sometimes.
@Dani – Music is really important to me, too. The more I write in this blog, the more I’m seeing that. It really is a beautiful song, I highly recommend it!
It must be hard to lose two friends so young. I guess I’ve been lucky in that — I haven’t lost any of my friends to death.
The song Stairway to Heaven always reminds me of my sister, who was convinced that Jimmy Page wanted to divoce his wife and marry her. She was so obsessed that she stowed away on a merchant marine ship to England, but she was deported when she reached London. Bad memories for me, too.
Dot´s last blog ..Comment on Life Goes On by Davina
Hi Jay, thanks for sharing this.
I have always been deeply connected to music, having been a ’serious’ musician since a young age. Sometimes I feel the only way I can express myself is through music. So, when you describe how your memories are associated with your friends via these musical memories, I can completely relate.
I had a childhood friend who died when we were in 4th grade. She passed away the day before Christmas, so often, when I hear Christmas music (Silent Night), I think of Angela. To me it seems powerful that those memories seem not to fade decades later, while other not-so-important memories are long gone.
This was a wonderful topic, thanks for writing about it. I am sorry for your loss, Jay.
Love,
Lori
Jay this is such a touching post. The music does remember when… Just the other day I was somewhere and the Violent Femmes (blister in the sun) came on…I was instantly catapulted back into sophomore year of high school. The music I listened to back then literally shaped me as a person. I identified with it.
I am sorry for your loss, Robin sounds like a great guy…I bet he is smiling down on you…
Caroline´s last blog ..Well…hello there!
@Dot – That’s too bad about your sister. Obsession to that magnitude is never a pretty thing.
@Lori – Thank you for sharing your story. A good song that talks about the loss of a childhood friend is “Sally’s Pigeons” by Cyndi Lauper. If you haven’t heard it, I highly recommend it. Indeed, those memories *are* quite powerful.
PS – I like your new gravatar pic! Does this mean that you’re one step closer to starting your blog?
@Caroline – “Blister in the Sun” always takes me back to school, too. It was a weekly staple at our Jr. High dances
But you’re right, music does shape us as people. I think the music that we listen to influences nearly every aspect of our lives, and it stays with us because it becomes so fully integrated into our psyche.
Hi Jay,
I think we usually document parts of our past based on certain songs. As soon as we hear them, we are immediately transported to a different time and recall what life was like back then.
Someone once said that music is the soundtrack to our lives and that is so true. Your post is a reflection of that.
Even though those friends are no more a part of your life, they are still alive in your memories and that is pretty awesome. Or at least, that is what I think.
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Re-nun-ciation: Why I Didn’t Become A Nun
I’ll check out the Lauper song, I am intrigued. Thanks for the tip.
RE: your P.S. comment to me…
Yeah, you nabbed me, Jay.
You are quite an observant man! Your comment totally made me smile.
I decided it is time to stop hiding behind my ’shady’ avitar. Here’s me in full color. This is actually one of the few photos I like of myself–I was out at dinner with my husband and it was a great memory. I thought it would bring me good luck.
Thanks for this Jay. I’m having a sort of parallel experience — I learned a few days ago that a kid I knew in high school had died in a car accident. He had been very overweight back when I knew him, but he later not only lost over 100 pounds, but he started his own fitness company, did motivational speaking, and so on. I was glad to hear what he had accomplished and I wished I had kept in touch after I graduated.
I love the new gravatar too, Lori!!!!
Lisis | Quest For Balance´s last blog ..Adventure: Taking a Giant Leap of Faith
@Nadia – That’s what I think, too…that even though they aren’t here anymore, they’re still a part of me…of my collective experience.
@Lori – I’m glad you decided to stop hiding! It really is a beautiful picture. I look forward to putting your blog on my blogroll someday!
@Chris – I’m sorry for your loss. I know it’s tough. Every time I lose someone, I always regret not spending more time with them, or getting to know them better. That’s one thing that I’ve been working on throughout this year…becoming more present with the people in my life.
@Lisis – It really is great, isn’t it? Lori is gonna make a great blogger someday, don’t you agree?
You and Lisis are really quite a pair. What would the world do without you?
Your encouragement and kind words are quite amazing, really. Maybe someday, in person, I can elaborate.
I know I, for one, would still be wallowing in my pity party without having your words to lean on and brighten my day. How can I not start blogging now that you’ve pulled me out of hiding?
Jay, well you know from my own blog that I have been dealing with the death of someone close to me as well, and playing all of these same roles. I can so relate to what you are saying about the events set in motion by Robin’s death. And the music triggering memories also – I once read a neurological explanation of why this is, but have forgotten it – something about auditory memory and emotions. Anyway, thanks for sharing, as always, – Lisa
Lisa (Mommy Mystic)´s last blog ..7 Steps to Seeing
Beautiful soul that you are, you are always making me cry or laugh.
Bless you.
cyberia´s last blog ..A man after my own heart
I was sorry to read about your friends, Jay. Those losses, especially when you’re so young, still come back so fresh sometimes.
Your post reminds me of a song I know you know: I Go Back, by Kenny Chesney. Love it.
Chania Girl´s last blog ..When Walking Becomes Flying
@Lori – Oh, the world would get along fine without me, but you’re right…that Lisis is something special.
@Lisa – You’ve intrigued me. Now I’m going to spend a few hours googling things like “auditory memory” and stuff like that. It’s amazing to me that even when you are focused on practical life, you’re still pointing me in the right direction.
@Cyberia – Bless you, too, Snow Angel. For being a friend when I needed one, and for putting up with my inappropriate tweets
@Chania Girl – Indeed. That *is* a great song!
[...] are so many people I want to thank that I’ve resorted to linking to their latest blog posts in this sentence; in fact, I [...]
Jay, sorry about your losses. You hit it right with the music thing though. Somehow the emotion of the music is connected to the times from which it came. It’s a great connector to those times. I never really thought about it much before I read this article of yours. Thanks!
Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..Let’s Get Some Perspective
Jay. I know what you mean about starting in one direction then realising the article was not about what you thought it was about.
Though in a way it was, because I’m guessing remembering those pieces of music brought back those memories and mourning lost friends and lost youth.
I was thinking just the other day of something similar, how music brought back memories of people from my past. And I was planning to create a playlist or a CD with all those tracks. Something like a musical memory album instead of a photo album.
Ian | Quantum Learning´s last blog ..Reward! Wanted dead or alive
Hi Jay,
Firstly Sorry for your loss. Losing friends at anytime is never easy.
Trisha yearwood and especially this song has been my favorite for i don’t even know how long. It has a nostalgic feeling to it. Everything just comes pouring out whenever i hear this song. And today just reading the title was enough to bring back all those memories and emotions. Thank you for making me truly feel through this very special post of yours.
This is my first visit, rest assured there will be many more.
Zeenat-Positive Provocations´s last blog ..The Power Of NO!
@Stephen – You’re welcome!
@Ian – I LOVE the idea of a musical memory album! I’m kinda surprised I never thought about that before, to be honest. You could have playlists based on a certain time in you life (Jr.High’s Greatest hits), a certain person (Songs my Dad Loved), or whatever group of memories you want to relive. Most of my playlists are based on moods…I have a dance songs, a heavy metal, a blues playlist…a sad playlist, an exercise playlist…but now I can’t wait to go home and make a few of these memory albums! Thanks!
@Zeenat – Welcome to Porsidan! I *do* hope that you continue to read and comment. I love getting comments, and especially from fresh voices and perspectives. As for this particular song, I’m glad that it touched you and brings such joy to your life. I’m glad that I could be a part of that.
This is a very good way of refreshment. The pleasant and blessed memories of the past helps motivate us to live our life better. They are a great way to get rid of stress and gives immense joy and happiness.