Photo by SuperFantastic
Thank you again to everyone who has offered me so much help and advice. Thanks to you, this has been a really fun and helpful 30 day trial! I’d especially like to thank Roger over at A Content Life for walking me through this. I’m almot finished with this trial, and I have to say that this has definitely been a great experience! I’m so thankful that I’ve finally started meditating on a regular basis, and I’m fairy certain that I’ll continue with the practice long after the trial period is over.
Day 21: More loving kindness meditation on myself. It was nice, but since I’m sick with some sort of sinus infection or head cold, breathing is a huge chore. Surprisingly, this made meditation even easier, because I’ve been having to concentrate on my breathing anyway, all day long.
Day 22: More loving kindness meditation on myself. After the initial awkwardness settled down, I really started enjoying giving the loving kindness to myself. Today was a good session, with very few thought trains.
Day 23: Today was a real battle against the thoughts, but I sharpened my focus pretty well, I think. I had a great session after the first 5 minutes or so. Roger’s lesson for this week is “walking meditation” but he assured me I could do it from my wheelchair. I’ll be starting that tomorrow. I haven’t decided yet if I will actually walk, or use the chair. Using the chair, I can focus better, but then again, whenever I walk, I pretty much have to focus, so maybe it’s a trade off? We’ll see…
Day 24: I was laser-like in slaying my thoughts today. It was really quite impressive, if I do say so myself. I did 10 minutes of insight meditation, and then followed that with 5 minutes of walking meditation. I walked behind my wheelchair, which is a bit like using a walker, except that it requires a little more concentration, and a lot more care. A good analogy is it’s like a able-bodied person balancing while walking on a narrow beam. Definitely had to keep my mind on what I was doing, and couldn’t let it wander. I figured this was a perfect balance between walking using a walker, or using the wheelchair just to move.
Day 25: I fell asleep again today 
Day 26: Today, I did 10 minutes of loving kindness on myself, then followed that with 5 minutes of walking (using a walker). Overall, a really good session, I thought. Giving loving kindness to myself is coming easier now, and I’m finding that I’m actually accepting the things that I say to myself as true…it doesn’t feel like something fake anymore, which is nice. The walking meditation is always good. As hard as it is for me to walk, and as much as I have to concentrate on doing it, the meditation part comes naturally. Plus, I just love that I can meditate and exercise at the same time!
Day 27: Another 10 minutes of loving kindness on myself, followed by 5 minutes of walking with the walker. Basically a repeat of yesterday. Overall, a great session.
This week has definitely been the best so far. I’m getting really good at noticing when my thoughts start to go astray, and reeling them back in quickly. I’ve continued to enjoy the loving kindness meditation, and I really like the walking meditation, too. Doing them together is a great practice, and that might be what I continue with even after this trial is over. I’ve noticed more and more moments of awareness even when I’m not meditating, but so far, that seems to be the only benefit that I’m noticing. I’m sure there have been other benefits, but I’m just not as aware of them, I suppose. On last note: Next week, I’ll be ready to up the total time to 20 minutes.
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Jay,
Wow! You really did great this week!
The thing I found interesting was that certain problems made it easier you to meditate. For instance, your cold made it easier to focus on breathing and your issues with walking made it easier to focus on walking meditation.
The only advice I have relates to falling asleep. This can happen if you become too comfortable. To counteract this, you can pick a posture that is less comfortable, meditate with you eyes open, or adjust the room temperature or your clothing to make it colder.
Roger | A Content Life’s last blog post..My First Zen Experience
Jay, great to read this. I’m still looking for the inner decision to try something similar. Not sure what the missing piece of the decision is, yet.
Ian | Quantum Learning’s last blog post..Life: powerful and fragile
Great sharing Jay.
It’s wonderful to know that you’re enjoying your meditation sessions and getting good at focusing your thoughts.
I get quite fidgety myself when I started meditating and boy was it tough to focus when my mind’s such a chatterbox. It’s a bit of a ‘mind battle’ at first but it’s getting easier.
Thanks for inspiring me to keep on going with my meditation sessions Jay.
Grace’s last blog post..Self-worth
It’s been interesting to follow your progress and the way you dealt with the challenges. I have a problem with falling asleep when meditating, too. One book I read recommended that you meditate standing up so that if you fell asleep, you’d fall down and wake up. A bit harsh for my taste, and probably even harsher for you. How has the regular meditation affected the rest of your life, or has it?
Dot’s last blog post..Creating a Household Notebook
@Roger -Thank you! Yeah, I noticed that too, how the “problems” actually made meditation easier. I suppose it’s one of those classic “silver lining” things, huh? And the falling asleep because I’m too comfortable makes perfect sense. Since I started out with so many back problems, I tried to shift to a more comfortable position. I guess I shifted too far!
@Ian – Just as I told Dani the other day, you’ll start when you’re ready. No need to try and force it, just let it happen naturally. I’ve been trying to get started with meditation on a regular basis for several years now, but I only started when Roger offered to do the teaching.
@Grace – Glad I could help! Thank you for inspiring *me* to keep going, too!
@Dot – haha, yes, meditating while standing up seems a bit too harsh for me! As for how it has affected the rest of my life, I haven’t really been able to tell that much difference, yet. I am more mindful more often now, but that’s a small change. Nothing “Earth-shattering” has shifted within my consciousness or in my life, but I was told not to expect such things anyway, so I’m not too terribly disappointed.
[...] week, you studied and practiced walking meditation. Jay at Porsidan continued to follow this tutorial and he posted last week’s experiences. Jay has made amazing progress in his meditation practice. He describes only one problem last week: [...]
Jay!!! I am so proud of you. What progress you have made. I love the analogy of walking behind your wheelchair. I can really see your growth through the past few weeks. I do hope you continue this after the 30 days are up.
Caroline´s last blog ..Wow…I said that?