I have another guest blogger today, who will be familiar to many of you. Paul Martin, of Original Faith. At age twenty-three, Paul had a spontaneous experience of the kind of consciousness usually approached through meditation. He went on to receive master’s degrees in religious studies and counseling. For more information about Paul, his free eBook and his book Original Faith: What Your Life Is Trying to Tell You, visit www.originalfaith.com.
Here. Paul uses his experience as a musician to share a very valuable insight with us. Yeah. Paul is my kind of guy…
Loving It for What It Is
Paul Martin
When I was eighteen I got my first drumming gig with Terry and the TJs, a local general business band that played clubs and weddings. I played on and off with them over the next several years, mostly summers. Terry did lead vocals and her husband Joe played keyboard. They’d hire lead guitar and drums.
It was a great way for me to earn money for college – pretty good pay for short hours. And Joe was great at keeping us booked months ahead.
The thing is, it wasn’t nearly as, uh – cool – as I would have liked. Terry and Joe were a middle-aged couple, which is exactly how they came across. Friendly, comfortable with themselves, dependable –this was a big factor in how regularly we got bookings. Heck, they weren’t just friendly they were folksy, which was another thing… I felt that there was way too much country in their repertoire for a drummer with my chops!
It’s true that I was better on drums than Terry and Joe were on vocals and keyboard. Terry sang on key, but didn’t really have pipes. Joe’s keyboarding was passable but pretty rudimentary. But hiring drummers and guitarists who were better musicians than they were was another ingredient to their success.
And as unremarkable as the music was overall, every night there were times when the guitarist would solo and I’d have an absolute blast accompanying him. And making music, even when it’s generally just OK, is still a whole lot of fun…
Like listening carefully to punctuate a guitar riff just right. Or playing a record over and over at home until I’d nailed a tricky fill and got to watch Terry turn toward me and smile the first time I played it at a club. And the way that even a mediocre band shows flashes of brilliance, like when one of their guitarists who hardly ever sang would sing “Georgia” with such a depth of feeling that the dance floor filled out every time.
Most of the activities connected with making music were enjoyable too – like the efficiency with which I’d set up and pack in my kit. Or how I used to stand bent over in the van long before I knew anything about back pain to receive each of the seventy-pound speakers from Joe, flipping one into place and then rotating at the waist for the next.
I appreciated all of it while it was happening, but not nearly enough. It was hard for me to see clearly through the fog of the cooler kind of band I thought I should be with. Big dreams are wonderful – except that I was using mine to look down on my present reality, making me overlook how wonderful it was in its own right.
Is there anyone or anything in your life that you don’t appreciate enough for what it is? What kind of fog gets in your way?
Love Always,
Paul
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How wonderful! Dance was very like this for me, for a long time. Growing up I trained as a dancer, and I originally went to college to major in dance. I quickly realized I was 1) not talented enough and 2) liked class more than performing, which is not a good thing in a professional dancer! After I dropped my professional ambitions, I couldn’t dance for the longest time, and it was all because of the projections and ego I had wrapped up in it. It was sad really, because dance had always been such a joyful part of my life. Finally, many years later, I was able to make it back into a dance class – and it was the most joyous experience I could imagine! And it has been in my life in some form ever since. To just be able to drop all my expectations/judgments and just enjoy the activity itself, was everything. So I really do appreciate this reminder that sometimes seeing the joy in the moment requires dropping our expectations/dreams about the future…
Lisa (mommymystic)´s last blog ..What I’m Reading, Watching, and Listening To…
Paul,
Thank you for sharing. I think in general sometimes sailing is that way for me. It is my passion, and I enjoy sharing it, and always appreciate the beauty of the ocean and my islands. However, sometimes I get burnt out and the novelty of sailing itself, or of my life on the boat, wears off. That usually happens when the responsibility or repairs become overwhelming and loom large instead of the joy of taking the steps to move forward with my dream. When that happens, I know it is a sign to drop everything and just sail, regardless of what boat I am on or who I am with–just get out there and enjoy the fun of it–no particular destination, just harnessing the wind:)
As far as people in my life, I appreciate each one and they fully know that. I know that time, energy, and emotion are very precious, and am very open with my gratitude.
It is just so basic and simple that if we live for the future we miss what’s going on in our moment to moment lives. It’s tricky working toward hopes and dreams and still to fully appreciate the moment. I think it is nearly universal to want to be at least one rung ahead of where we are. And now everything on earth happens so fast that we are even more inclined to expect instant gratification rather than enjoy each step of the journey. It’s tricky. I think for ambitious people it only gets sorted out with a spiritual awakening or perhaps in old age when we allow ourselves to slow down a bit. This post is just a perfect window on the whole striving vs. journey issue. Beautifully written reminder – thanks.
Hi All – Thank you for these great comments. I’m sure Paul will probably be around to respond to you as he can, starting tomorrow. I wasn’t supposed to publish this until Thursday, so he might not even know it’s up yet. My days got confused for me while I was traveling.
I’m still kinda woozy from my trip and flight, and I’m getting sick, too, so I’ll probably write more tomorrow.
Jay and Paul,
Wow, this really spoke to my performer/musician roots. Music connects so deep to my core, and many others’ souls, I suspect. I really love this post, both of you!
Paul, you used a great allegory to seeing what’s right under our noses – all the beauty in the world.
Thank you in advance for providing your ebook for free, too. I appreciate it and look forward to taking you up on your book link.
Best to you both and welcome back, Jay!
~xo
Lori´s last blog ..Proof: Extraterrestrial Life Exists
Jay, thanks for having me, I really enjoyed writing this.
Lisa and Joy, those are great parallel stories…
Trish – You’ve got me wondering… It may be that there is an inherent tension between present and future focus, at least at some stages of life. Maybe the main thing is to recognize the stuff that gets in the way that isn’t necessary – that’s less a matter of having to divide time and attention between present and future and more a matter of attitude.
In my case, I was being a bit of a snob. If this could have been brought to my attention at the time, losing that attitude would only have been a plus.
Paul, your words brought back bittersweet memories for me. When I was in college, studying theatre, it was all about the future, making it, gearing up to go to NYC. That’s what we talked about. The hours spent on stage were wonderful, of course, but in hindsight I know I didn’t appreciate them the way I would have liked. And at the time I didn’t recognize the incredibly unusual experience of bonding and community we were sharing. Oh man, I sure noticed it when I no longer had it, though. And that brought a wistfulness that stayed with me for a long time. But strangely, I found my way back to performing, as part of my current work. I never expected that to happen. So now I get a bit of a second chance, and I feel lucky to be able to appreciate it and just be in it, without thinking too much about what it will become. Thanks, Jay, for having Paul as a guest.
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..A Large State of Fear
a sentimental post for me. i probably miss … myself. after thinking of various people and things that i may have missed, i suddenly realized that the person i missed most was myself.
“Chop wood, carry water.” I too like to find pleasure in the simple actions and processes that are part of my daily life. Thanks for this reminder.
Dot´s last blog ..Comment on Hacked! by Zeenat{Positive Provocations}
What a neat story, Paul – thanks for sharing it; and Jay, thanks for having Paul as a guest blogger. He’s awesome on so many fronts!
In response to your question, I’m sitting here trying to think if there’s anything in my life that I’m sort of undervaluing right now — or have in the past. Probably a lot, including this sabbatical I’m on currently. When I left my job last January to focus on writing, it took me awhile to settle into it. I was like a fish out of water, and struggled for three months to fully appreciate what a gift I’d been given. Then I did settle in, and my gosh, it was awesome. It dawned on me just how fantastic it was to have time, money, and very little stress. A couple months ago, I tensed up again, worrying about money. I think I once again started taking this sabbatical slightly for granted as I seek out a reliable source of income. Don’t get me wrong – I’m grateful and wake up many days thinking, “I’m so happy I don’t have to go to WORK today!” Yet I fret about those greenbacks. Mmm, imagine if I’d just metaphorically partied the whole time? Reveled in the absolute bliss of it all?
Anyhow, that’s all that comes to mind right now, but like a good time release capsule, I’m sure I’ll be thinking of more stuff all day because of your post!
Be well, you two!
Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..Read. LAUGH! Repeat.
Hi Paul and Jay,
One aspect of life is truly about enjoying the journey and not getting so caught up with the destination. This post really does a wonderful job is conveying that message.
And being that I was once in a band, it brought back fond memories. Thank you both!
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Vampires, Investments and Love
Lori – Hope you find that the eBook has some useful stuff, and thanks for checking out the book link as well.
Patty – I can imagine – about finding your way back to performing but now with enhanced appreciation. I always felt that at some point I’d have found my way back to the drums in that same spirit if I’d been able.
Pauline – That was an important thing for me at one point – reconnecting with myself.
Dot – And it seems to turn out that in general, the simpler the better. I’m in my sixteenth year of a progressive illness. Some years back I noticed the pattern that basically the simpler it was and the more I’d taken it for granted, the more wonderful it was.
We’ve got to get on top of that “Don’t know what you got till it’s gone” phenomenon!
Megan – Seeking a reliable source of income as a task while on sabbatical sounds like it would be a stressor for anyone! At least to some degree, depending how urgent the situation is. I remember the summer after I got my master’s in counseling as a “sabbatical” that I could have done without! Out of money and no job, so believe me, I was casting my net far and wide…
Compartmentalization can be a good thing though. I still did plenty of writing that summer. When I was at my desk that’s all I did – no fretting till afterward.
Nadia – In way, it seems to me that life’s about memory-making – having the kind of experiences in the present that turn out to be worth remembering.
I love reading stories like this, Paul. Little remembrances. I think peak experiences are worth writing about. They give the reader and the writer a lift. Jay, I loved your airport story, although I couldn’t figure out how much was fact and how much was fiction. Doesn’t matter. Fact, fiction, or faction, it was quite a lift. I’d like to read more stories like these that celebrate the narratives of our lives. The music backdrop in both of your stories was lovely.
Lovely post, Paul. I especially like Trish’s comments about the tension between becoming and being present. If there were no emphasis in our hearts on “becoming” I could blow this all off right now and not swear to be more focused on being present. Because what is present for me is the effort to “become.” Or is that such a gordian’s knot that I’ve made it incomprehensible?
Brenda – Although this post was nonfiction, I’ve written a small number of pieces for which “faction” is just the right word! Mostly fact, but with a little “artistic liberty” taken to make the whole thing work a bit better.
It really is fun to write about music…
Hi Hayden – you must have posted just as I was typing my reply to Brenda…
I guess the way I look at it is that sometimes thinking about the future is exactly what you need to be doing in the present.
And that what takes you out of the present in unhelpful ways isn’t so much reality-based planning but private rants, resentments, regrets – trains of thought that detract from your life.
@Brenda -Hi, Brenda. My airport story was 100% fact. I couldn’t make up a story that good! Thanks, Jay
A little late getting here (I’ve been traveling too, Jay, and so glad I am not sick) but always glad to read what Paul has to say. Such a great question to ponder. I do try and appreciate everything that is here, right now, in front of me (such is mindfulness practice). It is busyness that causes me to fall into lack of appreciation. And I fully well know that overbusyness is of my creation. I often fall prey to “shoulds” and this can take the luster out of my day. What can I say, we are all a work in progress. And, thankfully, I savor the simple and sublime now more than I ever have.
Be well….
Jay – great choice of guest poster!
Paul – This really hits home for me. What I’ve been under- or non-appreciating in my own life are my friends. They’re always there for me in their own way, and put up with some of my childishness, and only recently am I starting to see that.
Thanks for a great read, you two.
Jan – That tendency to “savor the simple and sublime” is something that I connect with spiritual growth – and maybe with maturity in particular. There seems to be some degree of truth to that “older and wiser” saying.
Albert – I had that happen too, especially with one particular friend who’d taken the initiative at becoming a friend of mine and who I entirely took for granted in high school and college. By the time I caught on to what a positive impact he’d had on me and what a great friend he’d been, we were out of each other’s lives.
So the sooner the better as far as catching on to this stuff goes!
This is a great story. I try to make the effort to reconginze the good in my life, and often take time to count my blessings. This is a great reminder to do just that. It’s easier for me to appreciate things associated with home and family. I often have a more difficult time appreciating things at work. Thanks for sharing your story.
Eric | Eden Journal´s last blog ..Park Closes at Sunset
Eric, thanks for your comment. That whole process of hopefully finding your way into meaningful work seems to play out in different ways for people. In my case, I ended up working with children for 23 years, first as an ESL teacher then elementary school counselor.
It was something that I first fell into in my early twenties. For years I kept wishing I could quit my “day job.” Long story short is that as the years went by, I found my work with children becoming integrated with my writing and with my own growth as a person.
Of course it’s different for different people – sometimes you need to change jobs to get on a track that feels right. But early on I never would have guessed how right working with children would come to feel for me.
paul is a legend. true story.
supremo to get some background and really really liked the heart in the article. warm tingly feelings.
the message is something i’ve thought about and spoken about at length but you put it really really well.
“Big dreams are wonderful – except that I was using mine to look down on my present reality, making me overlook how wonderful it was in its own right.”
…loving it for what it is. because it is the way it is. not so it’ll change.
it’s tricky sometimes to convey that you can still have plans and look to the future whilst being present and living life right now.
magic
hope all’s well mate
alex – unleash reality