I Totally Screwed My Karma

Outside of my office, there’s a little picnic area with a few tables, a fountain, and some random flowers, potted plants, and trees. I like to go out there after lunch everyday and spend a few minutes meditating, just enjoying the sunshine, the breeze, and the nature (such as it is). There’s usually some birds along with chipmunks and squirrels this time of year (pause while I look up how to spell squirrels…ok, back to the story)

So I’m sitting out there today, minding my own business, and I see this praying mantis hop up on the table where I was sitting. Now, I *think* a lot faster than I can type, and even faster than you can read probably, so you’ll have to realize that these thoughts all flew through my head in the space of a couple of seconds:

“Wow, cool!  A Praying Mantis! Man, I haven’t seen one of those since I was a kid! How cool is that? Wow, she’s just walking straight towards me, isn’t she? Hello, friendly little praying mantis, how are you this fine day? Wait. Why is she still coming straight for me? Praying Mantis-es…er…manti…err…I should look that up…do they bite? No, I don’t think so. Wow, she’s really coming straight for me, isn’t she? They bite the heads off the males. I hope she doesn’t think that I’m a huge male praying mantis, cause that would kinda suck. What if she’s like a vampire praying mantis, or a zombie praying mantis? Maybe she’s a human using a shapeshifting spell come to give me the kiss of death. OH MY GOD SHE’S STILL COMING STRAIGHT FOR ME! What?!?! What do you want, Ms. Mantis? I don’t have any food. Here. I’ll just get out of the way, and you can go about your business. Just let me back up, and…FUCKMEIT’SONME SHEJUSTJUMPEDRIGHTONME DEMONMANTISDEMONMANTIS AAARRGGHHHHH”

*thump*

Praying mantis goes flying into the grass.

And so then I immediately felt guilty. See, despite my carnivorous habits, I really do love animals, even the creepy crawly kinds. But I just don’t want them on me, know what I’m saying? And so then I was all apologetic.

“I’m sorry Ms. Demon Mantis, I didn’t mean to freak out and thump you across the yard, really. It’s just that I have an overactive imagination, and for some reason, you just pushed one of my buttons. I hope you’re OK. Really. I’m sorry. Friends? No? It’s Ok. I understand.”

And so then, I was like, Oh holy fuck. I wonder what the praying mantis symbolizes? Maybe that was an animal messenger from the Goddess, and I just totally kicked Her out of my life?

You see, I’m a big believer in signs, pattern recognition, and hidden meanings. Especially those that come from the natural world. So, then, of course, I had to google “praying mantis symbolism”, just to see what I had done to myself. One of the lovely pages I found was this one, which I will summarize plagarize below for your convenience. The praying mantis is often seen as a symbol of:

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• Stillness
• Awareness
• Creativity
• Patience
• Mindful
• Calm
• Balance
• Intuition

The mantis comes to us when we need peace, quiet and calm in our lives. Usually the mantis makes an appearance when we’ve flooded our lives with so much business, activity, or chaos that we can no longer hear the still small voice within us because of the external din we’ve created.

The mantis never makes a move unless she is 100% positive it is the right thing for her to do. This is a message to us to contemplate and be sure our minds and souls all agree together about the choices we are making in our lives.

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Here’s another good one:

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The praying mantis is the oldest symbol of God: the African Bushman’s manifestation of God come to Earth…a divine messenger. …they are also associated with restoring life into the dead. “Mantis” is the Greek word for “prophet” or “seer,” a being with spiritual or mystical powers.

The praying mantis shows the way. In the Arabic and Turkish cultures a mantis points pilgrims to Mecca, the holiest site in the Islamic world. In Africa it helps find lost sheep and goats. In France, it’s believed that if you are lost the mantis points the way home.

“Follow Mantis” means putting that core aspect of yourself, your foundation of Spirit, at the helm and let it direct your intellect and ultimately your life.

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Various other sites listed the praying mantis as a symbol of martial arts and good luck, mostly due to the “praying mantis” style of kung-fu, where (presumably) you win by biting the head off of your opponents.

Crap. Seriously?

I just TOTALLY SCREWED MY KARMA!!! Here it is, a bona-fide messenger of the Goddess, bringing me the gift of intuition, guidance, peacefulness, and stillness…all this great stuff that I have been focusing all of my energy on attracting into my life, and I THUMPED IT RIGHT OFF OF ME!!! Did I just brush off any hope of ever receiving all that feel good happiness stuff?!?! Did I just tell the Goddess that I wasn’t ready for it?!?! How pissed is She gonna be when Her “divine messenger” reports back?!?! “Yeah boss, I tried to tell him, but then he THUMPED ME INTO THE YARD! Whack him! If anyone ever deserved a bad karma ass-kicking, it’s THAT GUY!”

So, really, I’m sorry Ms. Mantis. Please don’t hate me. It was really just a big misunderstanding. Come back, please? I’ll set out some food for you….

Love always,

Jay