This is my retelling of an old Buddhist (at least, I *think* it’s Buddhist) parable that was told to me a long time ago. I did a quick search, but couldn’t find the original text, so I’ll just tell it as I remember it. It’s a beautiful story about love without attachment:
Your heart is a garden that you must tend to carefully. Sow the seeds of love, peace, happiness, and contentment, and watch them grow into beautiful flowers that will fill your garden. Treat these flowers gently, nourish them faithfully, and prune them graciously.
Do not let the weeds of anger, jealousy, greed, or insecurity take root. Pull them from the ground whenever you find them, and toss them aside. Above all else, do not let the poison of fear kill your flowers of love and peace.
Nurture your inner garden, and love it so that it becomes an oasis of beauty, truth, and light. Let the beautiful fragrance of your garden radiate out into the universe, spreading love and peace wherever you go.
If you take good care of your garden, then it will begin to attract beautiful butterflies who will dance and play among the lovely flowers and peaceful trees. You will enjoy their company, for they will share their love with you and increase the beauty and peace of your garden.
If you try to build a cage or use a net to capture these butterflies, you will only drive them away. Butterflies are free and peaceful, and they resist all attempts to harm them or take away their freedom. It’s fear that causes you to want to contain them, to capture their beauty. Fear makes you believe that if they leave, they will never come back. Fear makes you believe that no butterflies will ever want to visit your garden. Remember, fear is the poison that kills your lovely flowers. It also drives away the butterflies.
So instead of trying to capture the butterflies, work to make sure your garden is so lovely and so peaceful that the butterflies never want to leave. Then they will, perhaps, choose to live in your garden, and allow you to live in theirs.
Love Always,
Jay
Hi Jay,
See, your beauty filled garden of a story has attracted my butterflies and glitter..so much wisdom in your story..
I work hard to make sure the Energy in my garden is free flowing so sometimes I have to tend to weeds– which I don’t necessarily like– but know is important work because I don’t want barriers..Sometimes I have to till the soil which can be labor intensive..but once I’ve done the “hard work” it’s ready, it’s ready for life and then to maintain it I just have to work lightly on it/nourish it to keep up with the abundant blossoms…once I’ve done my work there is lots of time to play..
You know what some find the hard part to be..you may be frustrated with your garden, or crave whatever it is my garden has…or you may purely enjoy my garden on many levels, and I love visitors so often invite them.. but if you focus too long on *my* garden, yours may lose its luster and need even more attention…weeds only become stronger if left to grow..
Peace attracts my butterflies…anything less than peace filled wilts my flowers and dampens my wings… so I choose to embrace peace..always…
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Such a lovely sentiment, and retold beautifully. I adore butterflies, flowers, gardens, love and good friends like you. What a great message to keep with me forever: “…make sure your garden is so lovely and so peaceful that the butterflies never want to leave. Then they will, perhaps, choose to live in your garden, and allow you to live in theirs.”
Happy Friday!
This is such a lovely tale and so beautifully written. Its a beautiful garden that creates many many many smiles. Thank u for this wonderfurful, simple, wise post. God bless
Hi Jay:
I really enjoyed that parable…it’s very wise and worthy of remembering. Somewhat along those lines, I’ve always heard the saying that in order to love others you need to love yourself first. I believe that, too. Thanks for sharing this.
@Joy – You’re right – our gardens require hard work which isn’t always pleasant, but the rewards are well worth it. I also like how you talked about how if we spend too much time as butterflies, enjoying the gardens of others, then we neglect our own garden and the weeds can take over. It’s important to spend as much time in our own garden as it is to visit the gardens of others. Thank you for the added insight!
@Megan – Thank you, Megan! I’m glad you liked the story, and even more glad that you’ll carry it with you. I have forgotten it a few times in my life, always with disastrous results, but each time that I remember it, it never fails to bring me immense peace. I’m glad that peace will be available to you now, too.
@Uzma – Thank you for the compliments, Uzma. I’m very glad you liked it.
@Tim – I’m glad you enjoyed it, Tim. The theme of loving yourself first is part of this parable, because it tells us to take care of our own gardens before we transform into butterflies to go and visit other gardens. Thank you for highlighting that dimension!
Hi Jay,
My, my, oh my, what a beautiful garden here. Can I hang out here for awhile? I think I’ll be a honey bee and gather some sweetness from your post. Then I’ll take it back to my garden to help my garden grow.
Another important tangential point may be this: even when I might not be attracting the things I’d want in my garden, all garden plots need fertilizer, right? I just need to keep an open mind that good things can come to my gardens as things I might not initially recognize as beneficial.
~xo
Jay – This was lovely when I read it last week and it is just as lovely today.
My daughter is ten and we have a wonderfully open relationship in which we can talk about anything (And I hope it stays like that). In that light, we talk about having kids. I didn’t have her until I was 29, which is my part of the US is quite late while out here on the east coast, I am a young parent… funny that. Anyway, I tell her the truth, I wanted to know myself and experience more of my life before I shared it with a man and before I had kids. I wanted to, in a sense, build my garden, and learn how to take care of it before I shared it with others.
It is nice to visit and learn from what others have planted and grown in their gardens. It is nice to be open to experiencing those gardens. And it is nice to sit in our gardens cultivating and nurturing and weeding… not waiting for another to bring us flowers or denying our garden in favor of another.
Beautiful post Jay. Thank you for sharing this story.
@Lori – You are most welcome to be a honeybee in my garden anytime. You help my flowers grow, and I am eternally thankful for your visits to my garden. Thank you for being such a great friend.
@The Exception – I’m really glad you liked the post. I love that you took the time to build your garden before your daughter was born. I wish I had given my own daughter that same gift; I sometimes feel guilty that I shortchanged her by becoming a parent at so young. So thank *you* for doing it the right way!
Thats a lovely little parable. I love buddhist sayings and teachings, because they seem to make so much inherent sense. I’m still uprooting the weeds in my garden because I just started out on my spiritual endeavors a couple years ago, and I will keep working! Its the most honorable blessing to be able to visit other gardens and see and smell their flowers, and watch their butterflies!