“I’m alright. Don’t nobody worry ’bout me.” ~Kenny Loggins
This time last year, my life was a mess. So much of a mess, in fact, that I started this blog as a way to sort through it all, and to reconnect with myself. In late December of 2008, I asked the Universe for two things: peace, and healing. No New year’s resolutions, no parties, no kisses at midnight – Just me, sitting alone, talking to the Goddess, and wishing for peace and healing.
I do believe that I’m there.
Um, well, except it’s not really a destination. It’s more like a constant choice that I make every morning. Today, I’m not going to argue. Today, I’m not going to react out of fear. Today I will respond out of love and compassion for everyone that I come into contact with, no matter how much they try to hurt me, or no matter how much they inadvertently hurt me. Just for today, I will allow others to think, believe, and feel whatever they want…and I will love them anyway.
Have I always been successful? Oh hell no. I’ve lost my temper several times throughout the year. I’ve reacted badly to fearful situations. I’ve lost my way more times than I care to remember. However, overall, I think I’ve done pretty well this year. I am a lot more peaceful than I was, and a lot more “whole” as well. I did a lot of growing, and a lot of learning.
It took a lot of work, and I have a lot of people to thank. I read lots of books, and lots of blogs, too. I met some really awesome people this year, and they’ve helped me a lot. I suppose I could list them all here, but that would just be self-serving. Here, I just want to thank everyone for coming to my blog, for reading it, and for leaving such amazing comments. Not even my therapist (who I paid an insane amount of money to, btw) has helped me as much as you all have. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
I’m in a really good place these days. I’m happy, for the most part, and content. I’ve learned to stop looking at every situation as a fight or problem to be solved, and just allow things to be as they are. I’ve learned that there are times to swim, and times to just float along and let the river of life carry you. I’ve learned that fear is the most destructive force in the universe, and the source of all the evil that people do. That led me to the realization that if I can recognize the fear, I can usually stop the fight. I’ve learned to trust myself and my intuition, and to go with what I feel is right even when it is in opposition to what I think is right. And while I am far from being a Zen master, I have learned to quiet my mind and ground my thoughts.
To make a really long story short, I finally feel like myself again, and that’s a wonderful feeling. To quote James Brown: “I feel good.”
Bring on 2010! Happy New Year!
Love always,
Jay
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Hey Awesome Jay,
I feel good~ la la…I knew that i would..la la la…:)
I feel awesome reading this post today…why cause it makes me feel like I’m not the only one who found a little Calm this year
Starting a blog is truly an amazing experience…but more so cause of the people we meet along the way…Am so so grateful!
May your sense of “just being ” continue to grow and may you publish awesome books and win awesome awards…cause hey You ARE Awesome…thats why your blog is awesome too !
Now ring in the new year with a huge smile on that face and a bigger smile in your heart….Youre going to ROCk 2010!
Lots of love and Happy New Year Dear Friend…
~Z~
Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last blog ..Love, Kindness and Happiness
psst say a little prayer for me when you talk to your Goddess tonight
Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last blog ..Love, Kindness and Happiness
Hey There Jay!
You’re one of the people that entered my life stream this year that I’m most thankful for. Learned
lot from you brother. Thank you for shedding some light into my world, which helped show me the way home to myself (my self?). Looking forward to 2010, even with some sizable hurdles ahead.
I am so glad that you are who you are. I have also met a lot of amazing people in 2009 and you are definitely one of those people. Love your humor and your honesty. Keep the being the shining warrior that you are. Peace always.
Jill´s last blog ..Made it through the Christmas holiday
Hi Jay – Great reflection on the year to come, and the year that has been. Even when it doesn’t show strongly on the outside, internal growth (feeling peaceful, whole, etc.) is a wonderful accomplishment. So, here’s to 2010 and more growth.
Amanda Linehan´s last blog ..How To Be Yourself
That’s awesome, Jay!
It seems like so many people have changed their lives in 2009 (me included) that it is just amazing. Something is definitely happening in the world. I don’t know what though, do you?
Here’s to an awesome 2010!
Henri @ Wake Up Cloud´s last blog ..Law of Attraction for Conscious People – The Series
Oh Jay…where to start? You are a wonderful person with such a deep soul. I have loved coming here over the past year…you have much wisdom to share. I agree about comments being more effective than a “shrink.” I have such a strong support system built up…it’s just amazing isn’t it? Never did I think this would happen through blogging. I also want to thank you so so so much for all the help with my blog…you are an angel!
I wish you continued peace in 2010…and growth, and love, and joy, and all the best things in life. I am honored to know you!
I say bring on 2010…cheers! XO
Caroline´s last blog ..I am blooming in 2010
Happy New Year, Jay! So glad I discovered you and your blog this year! Cheers! Miche
There are so many gems in this post I don’t even know where to begin responding.
No.1 Congratulations, what you’ve accomplished is better than winning the lotto.
No. 2 I’m thrilled I found your blog and am here to read this and share your journey.
No. 3 You’re closer than you realize to being a Zen Master! (maybe even there;)
No. 4 As a former therapist, just so you know we learn as much or more from clients as they do from us.
No. 5 I feel good as well! Like Hayden says, Let’s Rock 2010!
Beautiful. Though I’ve only known you a short time I have found your tweets and blogs a wonderful place to meet all the really interesting people
You becoming more you has been a wonderful gift to a lot of the rest of us. Happy New Year!
@Zeenat – Happy New Year, Z! Thank you for the kind words. Meeting you has truly been a blessing, and you’ve enriched my life more than you know.
@Terrapin – Happy New year, turtle Brother! I’m so glad to have met you (and your lovely Turtle Bride) this year. Don’t worry about the hurdles. Rest assured that I’ll be there to give you a boost over, should you need it.
@Jill – Thank you for the kind words, Jill. I’m so glad to have met you, too. You help keep me in check, and I need all the help I can get in that area! So, thank you!
@Amanda – Thanks! You’re right – even though it doesn’t show on the outside, it sure feels wonderful on the inside. Thanks for helping me out along the way. Your blog is truly inspirational.
@Henri – I’ve had that same feeling for many years now, but I swear it’s getting more and more powerful every day. I don’t know what *it* is, either, but I’m sure it will be wonderful. I’m glad you’ll be with us, helping to make it happen!
@Caroline – Oh Caroline, thank you so much for your kind words. Yours was one of the first blogs that I started reading in my search for peace, and you have helped me much more than I could ever help you. You’re one of the kindest souls I know; truly the honor is mine.
@Miche – Ditto that! I’m so glad I found you and your blog this year, too. You have really touched me with your tenderness and inner strength. Thanks for being so wonderful. Happy New Year!
@Tess – Like Caroline’s, your blog was also one of the first ones that I started reading when I began this crazy journey. Thank you so much for your observations here. I’m so glad to know you, and to be able to learn from you. And I agree! Let’s rock 2010!
@Trish – Thank you! I’m really glad to have met you this year. Your wisdom and knowledge is a constant source of goodness for me, and I can’t thank you enough for sharing them with me, and everyone else.
You’ve reminded me of my friend whose goal for 2009 was to “abide”, as in “the Dude abides”.
transitive verb 1 : to wait for : await
2 a : to endure without yielding : withstand b : to bear patiently : tolerate
3 : to accept without objection
intransitive verb 1 : to remain stable or fixed in a state
2 : to continue in a place : sojourn
I think it pretty perfectly expresses what you’ve said here. And being in the moment, letting the drama wash around you without taking you under, it’s worth the conscious effort it takes to make that happen.
I stumbled with that this year, especially with my in-laws, but we can try in every moment to do it differently.
You ARE awesome, Jay.
P.S. Let’s rock 2010!!!
Hayden Tompkins´s last blog ..How to Rock 2010!
Congratulations, Jay. Beautiful post, and sounds like you have a lot to celebrate this year. May 2010 be full of presence, awareness, and timeless joy for you — and for all human beings!
Meredith´s last blog ..intermission
I think one of the most amazing things anyone can say about his or her state of mind is, “I feel good.”
What more is there, really?
It brings me great happiness to read this post, Jay. You “sound” happy, you look happy, and your words washed over me like a gentle wave. I second your readers here, this is, again, a beautiful post.
Here’s to a great year, here’s to meeting each other in 2009, and here’s to more fun, love, happiness, and finding ourselves for 2010!
You are a JEDI (and ZEN) MASTER! The force is with you!
All My Best, Sweets!
-Lori
Lori´s last blog ..Shedding
Hi Jay. Today is the last day of the year and I’m glad I stumbled across this blog. It’s always nice to see somebody that you have no idea who talk about their inner experiences and mistakes in the past. I can relate to this because I remember during my blogging this year, I reacted badly to fearful situations. Peace and healing is definitely something that’s not always been easy for me to come across, but I’m working on it. I am glad you have found yourself and feel good! Thanks for sharing this and I hope 2010 will bring you much joy and success. Hope you have a happy new year!
Hulbert´s last blog ..My 100th Post
Hey,
Happy New Year man,
I know what you mean. I’m glad you are at a much ‘happier’ place in your life right now.
That’s what it’s all about.
Cheers!
Hey Jay,
I am singing and dancing with you:)
I love that you’re so open, so as you step forward it often moves your readers forward with you. I’m glad that you “feel good” because it’s contagious and we can all use some of that!!
It is a “constant choice” Jay, and it is my wish for you that all you wrote in that paragraph is also what you apply to yourself as generously as you apply it to others….Much peace and happiness –you absolutely “rock” and I am so excited to see how this year unfolds for you:) Thank you for all that you share on these pages, you are so wise and so witty, I am learning through you but in a fun way….
@Hayden – The Dude abides…I like it. Yes. It takes a few moments to let it sink in, to fully grok the meaning, but once I wrapped my head around it, it sounds really good. Thanks for that! And yes, by all means, let’s rock 2010!
@Meredith – Thank you! May all the blessings you bestowed on me be returned you you 10-fold.
@Lori – Hey Lori-Bug! Indeed, we do have much to celebrate, don’t we? Thank you for all the help and support you’ve given me this past year. You’re too kind re: The Jedi Master comment, but I’m getting there. We have much to do in 2010. Are you ready?
@Hulbert – I’m so glad you found my site! Thank you for your kind comment, I hope that you’ll come back more often. I hope you ahve a happy new year, and that all your dreams come true.
@Mystic – It’s good to see you again, my friend! Happy New Year!
@Joy – Indeed, we *could* all use more of the feel good energy. I wish I could bottle this optimism up and sell it to people, but since I can’t, I’m happy to give it away for free. You’re such an inspiration to me, Joy, and I am so, so thankful that I met you this year. As excited as you are to watch the year unfold for me, I’m even more excited to watch how it unfolds for you. You’re just beginning to feel the magic come alive in your life, and I can’t wait for the explosion of good stuff that’s headed your way. It’s gonna be a great year for both of us!
That’s really wonderful to read. I remember when I first read about your blog on Blogging Without a Blog and stopped by to see what you had to say. I was impressed from the first with your honesty about yourself and your courage in revealing things. I’m so glad it paid off for you.
What will you be blogging about now that you’ve found the answers you were searching for?
Dot´s last blog ..Comment on Snowstorm! by Dot
Happy 2010, Jay! I think you’ve made a lot of progress this year and I have a feeling that 2010 is going to be a great one. Thanks for being YOU and for always leaving such awesome, uplifting comments on Positively Present!
positively present´s last blog ..new year, same me: 6 stay-the-same resolutions
Hi Jay,
Happy New Year! Congratulations on all the progress attained in 2009. You look really happy and at peace in the picture that is at the top of this post. May 2010 bring you more spiritual wisdom, peace, joy, great health, success in the ways that matter and many more blessings! Keep Smiling, dude!
Hi Jay:
It was good to meet you, read your posts and follow your many musical tweets this year. I’m very happy to hear that you had a good 2009 and that you fell re-connected. It sounds like your secret to the turnaround is living day to day focusing on one thing at a time…which seems like a pretty good reminder for me, as well. I wish you the best in 2010 and hope in many ways…that it rocks!
Tim´s last blog ..Weekend Video Diversion: John O’Donohue
@Dot – Well, I haven’t found all the answers, not yet anyway. I’ve made a good start, and think I’m pointed in the right direction, but I feel like there’s still a lot of stuff I don’t know. Still lots of areas to explore, both within myself and with life in general.
@Dani – You’re welcome! I always enjoy Positively Present. You’ve been a real inspiration to me this year, so it is *I* who should be thanking you!
@Nadia – Thank you, Nadia! On a spiritual level, I think you’ve helped me more than almost anyone else. You’ve helped me see things from a much brighter (and always better) perspective, and I can’t thank you enough for that.
@Tim – Thanks, Tim! It was great to meet you, too this year. Indeed, keeping focused on the present has been the key. I used to spend a lot of time either dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, and that always troubles the present. Staying focused on the here and now (as much as possible) has really helped me tremendously.
Dear Jay, You are a wonderfully brave and honest soul. I read this and was left in AWE. It’s your depth of honesty and sincerity that touched me. You sound like a really remarkable human being in that you are just being YOU. That is often more rare than you might think. I again, felt the deepest respect for who you are and the journey you are choosing to walk…and even share with us. It invites all who come here to be their authentic selves as well. And authentic doesn’t always paint a perfect or pretty picture…or least what society can teach us is perfect and pretty. But I was done with prefect and pretty a long long time ago. So to find you and hear you clear honest voice is like clean air. I feel myself breathe and my respect of you is high. And that respect includes all your humanity. And that is the great gift I see you not only giving yourself, but others as well…humanity and all it entails. Bless you dear one, Robin
Robin Easton´s last blog ..When You Know You’re Alive
Well, looky here… I’m about as late to this party as I could possibly be. I have a good excuse though: my brother’s entire family is staying with me right now, visiting from Costa Rica. Picture a two bedroom apartment with four adults and four kids and sub-zero temps outside. Oh, and one shower. I tried to hang on to my regular online routine but… yeah, it’s hopeless.
Nonetheless, I finally made it here. I loved reading this post because I was thinking back to when I FIRST started reading your blog. You had so many questions. You were so conflicted. You feared your dark side might be more “You” than your loving, enlightened side. You were struggling, and it was palpable in your every written word.
But this… it feels light, and happy, and harmonious, and at peace. You know you’ll have other challenges come up, and that life has its difficult moments. But you also know, no matter what they are, YOU will be OK. And that’s wonderful.
I’m so proud of you, Jay, and so blessed to have met you this past year!
Love Always,
Lisis
Lisis | Quest For Balance´s last blog ..Inspiration from the Tao Te Ching: Harmony
What a great picture of you, and what a great post. Like you, I went through wonderful transformations in 2009. Someone told me that it was a year of partnership, and most importantly of partnership with self. I can see that in this post. Like you, I’ve also learned so much through the good comments and support of other writers — you included! You are a hugely loving soul who leaves a compassionate footprint wherever he goes.
May 2010 see all of your fondest dreams coming true in effortless, fun and fantastic ways.
Love to you!
Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..Funny Cookies
Hi Jay — I won’t have to give you a fight, and I’ll definitely just let you be. But seriously, I’m glad to hear the past year had such a positive impact on you and I’m looking forward to another year of inspiration and insight from your blog. Best, CE
@Robin – Thank you, Robin. Your comment means so much to me that I just about can’t express it in words. I admire and respect you so much, and it’s so nice to hear you say the same thing about me. Thank you for all that you are and all that you do.
@Lisis – You don’t need an excuse for being late
I’m just always glad when you comment. You’ve been such a great help to me, such a great friend to me, and I can’t thank you enough. Almost all of the growing I have done, almost all the peace I have found, is because of you and your gentle guidance. If either of us is blessed, it is me.
@Megan – Thank you, Megan! It has been such a joy and pleasure getting to know you this year. You’re always so warm, friendly and loving. Truly, you have a beautiful soul, and I am so lucky to have met you. May all the blessings you have bestowed on me be returned to you 10-fold.
@Chris – Thank you! Like many others, you have been a great inspiration to me. I love visiting your blog, because I always learn something new, or at least new way of thinking about something I already knew, and that is the best gift anyone could give to me, so thank you for that.
Jay, I’m very late here, due to vacation, but this was lovely to read. It is amazing to me how blogging itself, and the community it creates, becomes a spiritual journey in and of itself. And so wonderful to feel like you are in a new place on the spiral (the image I like for the never-ending spiritual journey.) Thanks for your integrity, soulfulness, and clarity of your writing. I’m grateful to have met you, and look forward to 2010 in the blogosphere with you! Love, lisa
Lisa (mommymystic)´s last blog ..December Month in Review